We have all been there. We think we have found “The One,” our “Soul Mate,” and it all crumbles away. Break-ups can leave use destroyed; we feel unlovable; we tell ourselves horrible lies like “you’re disgusting,” “It was all my fault,” and “you’re useless.” These are falsehoods that we tell ourselves in a destructive attempt to make sense of the pain we are feeling. We burst into tears at the slightest trigger; we end up sleeping poorly; binge eating or maybe not eating at all; we try to cover up our pain with drugs or alcohol; we isolate and hide from the world for fear of running into out Ex. There is another way. You can heal from this and there are things you can do to not only pass through the grief but overcome and end up stronger than before.
1. Be Kind to Yourself: After a break-up we can treat ourselves like out own worst enemy. We say things in our heads that we wouldn’t dream of saying to another person. This needs to change. Try this, for every action you take tell yourself “I love myself.” Say it with love and compassion, say it with conviction, notice the difference it makes in your life.
2. Take Care of Yourself: When our hearts are broken we can end up spending all day in bed and binge eating pints of ice cream and several large pizzas. Our minds and bodies are connected and when we are not taking care of our bodies by sleeping well, eating a well balanced diet, and exercising our bodies do not feel well and it is harder for our minds to heal.
3. Spend Time Outside: After a break-up we often avoid the world. We lock ourselves in our homes and begin withering away. Going outside and surrounding ourselves in nature has huge benefits from the vitamin D to the fresh air. Get outside, walk around the park, go for a hike, notice how you feel before and after.
4. Surround Yourself with Supportive Friends and Family: When we are rejected by a loved one we can often feel like no one wants to be around us. This is another lie we tell ourselves. Reach out to your friends and family, connect with them, lean on them to listen to you and distract you from your pain.
5. Seek Professional Help if Needed: Sometimes the pain of a break-up is too much for us to handle by ourselves. When this feels like the case seek out a mental health professional: a therapist, a counselor, a psychologist, a psychiatrist. Find someone who is trained in handling the specific pain you are experiencing.
Break-ups are difficult and painful but by taking action we can heal and ultimately become stronger than we were before.